Approximately one in eight women reported unwanted sexual touching of their breasts, buttocks or genitals or attempts to kiss them at work, according to a study by the Trades Union Congress and the Everyday Sexism Project.

Almost a fifth said they had been harassed by their boss or someone else with authority over them. But four in five women said they did not report the incidents to their employers, with many fearing that it would harm their relationships at work or that they would not be taken seriously.

Eight people share their experiences of sexual harassment in the workplace, including their company’s policies and reactions to complaints.

• All names have been changed.
  

‘I have got used to petty comments about sex and my body almost every time I step through the kitchen doors’

The most prominent moment for me was when a chef pulled me in and hugged me, I then pushed him off and told him to not touch me as his manner was aggressive. He then replied: ‘Go fuck yourself.’ I told him that was inappropriate, to which he replied that he only asked me this so he could watch. He then continued to discuss with the other chefs the idea of female masturbation in quite graphic detail. I just stood there. I was so shocked that I didn’t really say anything. I just felt completely violated that someone would talk about me in such a perverted way. The most disturbing part was the chefs were laughing and agreeing with the first one. Looking me up and down like I was a piece of meat.

I went to my manager to discuss this because obviously I felt quite angry and uncomfortable. I was greeted with the notion that I, as a “pretty young thing”, encouraged all of them. I felt that given she’s a female manager, she would be able to understand the unwanted sexual comments that can make you feel awful and uncomfortable, especially when one is in such close proximity with the offender in the workplace at all times. The lack of female unity within the workplace really shocked me.

Emily, 18, part time barperson, south-west England

‘When a colleague grabbed my neck to pull me in to kiss me I was quite upset’

When I was 19, working as an intern, a female colleague started making some inappropriate comments and generally flirting, particularly at social events. She knew I had a long-term partner and I was uncomfortable about her advances but it seemed relatively harmless to begin with. Things escalated at the Christmas party. There was lots of alcohol involved and she wouldn’t leave me alone. Towards the end of the evening she tried to kiss me – she pulled my face towards hers. I left shortly after.

She continued to make inappropriate comments. Once in the kitchen she told me she would make a good wife. My manager knew what was going on but never seemed to take it too seriously although I’m sure he would have done if I’d escalated it formally. The reactions of the people who knew made me think it was less serious than it felt at the time.

Now I have an older female team member who quite often makes comments which could be considered as inappropriate, often towards male members of staff but not always. She’s in a senior position and I don’t think anyone wants to bring it up formally; I certainly don’t. The comments are mild but can be embarrassing and uncomfortable.

It made me feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. When a colleague grabbed my neck to pull me in to kiss me I was quite upset. I’m not sure how seriously I would be taken, particularly because I’m a man. I think where I work is generally quite good in terms of dealing with harassment, but there are still some old attitudes around.

Paul, 26, analyst, London

‘I was told to wiggle my hips a bit more when I walked’

In 2013 I briefly worked for a small company in my home town. My director, also the company owner, told me in my second interview he wanted someone pretty because he needed someone who could sell to male clients.

I was out of work and took the job anyway. A few weeks later, he commented on my new work clothes – a below-the-knee dress and black cardigan – and said I’d attract more sales if I didn’t wear “skanky” cardigans.

He got tickets for a networking event and gave them to the girls I worked with but not me, because he thought they would do better at chatting up the male clients. I was told to wiggle my hips a bit more when I walked – we were alone in the office while the others were at the event.

I left after two months. I didn’t report it because the human resources person was his friend and they regularly socialised outside of work. I didn’t think it would be handled properly or that I would be believed.

Ella, 28, sales, London

‘I knew my complaints weren’t welcome, like it was just a bit of office gossip’

One of my first tasks in a new job was to write a speech for a director. It was the first time I’d met him, and in front of my new team including my new manager he said: ‘I’m sure the audience would be much happier if you were presenting the prize instead. I was naive enough not to know what he was implying, so I asked [and he replied]: ‘You’re a slim young woman, I’m sure they’d much rather look at that than me.’

After I’d been there about six months, my head of department mentioned that the powers that be were getting ticked off with the director’s behaviour and that apparently he’d been making inappropriate comments to other women. I explained that he said inappropriate things to me all the time, and then I rattled off some of the things he’d said to me about my appearance, age, and clothes just that week. But she didn’t seem phased. She just said “not good, is it?” and then repeated her comment that I should tell her if he said anything inappropriate. But I just had and it had fallen on deaf ears. I knew my complaints weren’t welcome, like it was just a bit of office gossip to get involved with and not something to take seriously.

I felt really demeaned working there. It’s one thing having to be in a situation with someone who thinks that sort of behaviour is okay, but when you’ve reported it and it’s even been witnessed by your entire team and your manager, and yet it’s brushed under the carpet, it makes you feel like everyone is against you and that actually you’re the one with the problem. It built an anxiety every time I had to interact with the director. I’d be second guessing what he might say and how I’d respond in a way that wouldn’t turn round on me. In the end, I started being rude towards the director, and would openly say I didn’t like him and didn’t want to work with him which everyone just sort of accepted and if anything found funny. It bothered me though that I had to become unprofessional in order to protect myself. That’s not who I want to be and I’m sure other managers in the organisation would have seen me as someone quite aggressive and inflexible, when actually that’s not who I am or want to be at all.

Holly, 26, public relations officer, Scotland

‘I felt very uncomfortable working side by side with him after that’

I had my first job at 17 in a shop, and was very shy and introverted. One of the male staff members seemed especially friendly, so we exchanged polite small talk now and then.

Then one day we had to pair off to do the inventory. Once everyone else was out of earshot and we were in a secluded corner of the shop, he started making comments like: ‘If you like animals why don’t you like me?’ while stacking toys. I was so shocked and embarrassed at this utter change in demeanour I didn’t know what to say, as he was the model professional employee in front of everyone else.

I felt very uncomfortable working side by side with him after that, so I mentioned this to my bosses, who, to their credit, were extremely sympathetic and asked both sides what was going on. However, when the female boss questioned the guy, he denied all knowledge, and only admitted his behaviour when the male boss, and friend of his, asked him about it.

By this point in time I had decided to leave anyway as the atmosphere was very awkward. Although management understood and were helpful, my family didn’t believe me and were convinced I was just oversensitive. So when we later found out he had actually groped another female member of staff who hadn’t reported it because he said he would shop her for dating her boss. I felt both angry and vindicated.

I feel annoyed with myself for not telling him to stop at the time, and angry that my usually supportive family didn’t believe it was serious.

Carla, 33, shop assistant, London

‘I wanted to make a good impression for my job and knew I had to comply with something that made me extremely uncomfortable’

A photographer at the place where I worked at as a journalist had to take my picture for one of the news articles we were working on. I agreed to follow him to a stuffy room with barely and light at all, which I found strange. I had a buttoned up work blouse on which he, without asking, unbuttoned the top button and then quickly patted down my collar as if he was doing it to make me look more presentable.

He stared at my breasts until I told him to stop, and which point he laughed … Even though he was only taking a headshot picture, he told me to stand up. He stepped behind me and put my arms down my sides then he felt down my waist and smoothed down my bum and said “nice”. I told him he was only supposed to be taking my headshot and he said he was just smoothing out any wrinkles in my clothes. Before he took my picture he had one last look and sized me up with a lecherous look which made me feel completely vulnerable and powerless. I tried to leave after the picture but he grabbed me around the waist.

I kept the incident completely to myself, and only told a friend afterwards. I didn’t have the confidence to report him as I was a young, inexperienced journalist and he had worked as photographer for years. When I thought of reporting him, I didn’t think I had enough happen to me for it to be considered sexual harassment. I know he abused his position and made me extremely uncomfortable, but he didn’t use any incriminating language or blatantly grope me, so I didn’t report it.

It made me feel completely used and objectified. I wanted to make a good impression for my job and knew I had to comply with something that made me extremely uncomfortable. I felt completely powerless and under the photographer’s control. I feel he knew this and got off on that fact. He knew we would never interact outside of work and used this as an opportunity to get me on my own, make me feel vulnerable, touch me inappropriately and pretend it was part of his job. He forcefully stopped me from leaving but let me go because he was scared in case he had gone too far and I’d complain. I was deeply affected by what happened, and it ruined my work experience.

Marta, 25, journalist, Cumbria

‘It never occurred to me to raise it as an issue at the time, I don’t think I would’ve been taken seriously’

One of my first jobs while in sixth form was waitressing in a small restaurant. Two of the waiters would regularly make inappropriate advances towards me. Or comments often about my breasts or how my skirt was making my bum look good, or would make gestures about grabbing or touching them. On a couple of occasions they made direct propositions and would tell me I’d been flirting like a whore with a male customer if I spoke to them for more than a couple of minutes.

It never occurred to me to raise it as an issue at the time, I don’t think I would’ve been taken seriously, and there was the worry of being fired too.

I’m pretty disgusted in retrospect, that I continued to put myself in that position. I was uninformed about harassment laws, as I imagine the majority of teenage girls who get their first part time jobs are. I struggled with forming relationships and my sexuality when I was younger, and I think internalising that kind of behaviour as normal definitely had an impact.

Ellie, 25, waitress, Leeds

‘Nothing happened, no reports were taken, and the boss was able to keep groping girls’

Two years ago, when I worked in a small digital marketing agency my boss groped my bum a number of times, including when I was making an announcement to the entire company about a colleague that he had just had me let go. He later stood behind me, put his hand on my bum.

Another boss regularly said that he hated hiring women because of how emotional they were, and I witnessed multiple instances of sexism and sexual harassment and assault in the office including groping, inappropriate touching, inappropriate comments, and even an instance when the same boss who groped me actually pinned a girl to a couch and humped her, while she was crying and screaming for him to stop it. I also know for a fact that a female apprentice was forced out of the company when she announced that she was pregnant, but they made it look like she was incompetent.

I didn’t tell anyone about it, until I got progressively more depressed. I have suffered with depression my entire life, and it didn’t help. My manager eventually noticed that something was wrong and asked me what the matter was privately. I told him about it, and his response was that my boss was just playing and that I should know what he’s like. Nothing happened, no reports were taken, and the boss was able to keep groping girls.

Monica, 28, copywriter, Manchester