Black Friday got a bit frantic, didn’t it? Still, now we can all nurse our shopping injuries, enjoy our new, unwanted £150 vacuum cleaners, apply for a payday loan to cover all the money we’ve spent, and forget about it. Except we can’t, having gone through the same, slightly less physically threatening rigmarole again on Cyber Monday, and atoned for all our commercial misdeeds via charity on Giving Tuesday. Later in the week, we have the opportunity to look back to happier times on Throwback Thursday, and then it’s Friday again, when we can Dress Down at work or urge our online friends to Follow other online friends, for fun purposes.

Treating the weekend as sacrosanct, that just leaves poor, neglected Wednesday feeling typically full of woe because nobody has bothered to give it a purpose yet (well, yes, Orange Wednesdays, but corporate branding doesn’t count). Here are a few suggestions ...

Sheepish Request For A Refund Or Store Credit Wednesday

In which we stimulate the ailing economy by shame-facedly returning to a major high-street retailer the flat-screened TV for which we fought so manfully last Friday, but which we now realise we don’t need.

You’re Welcome Wednesday

A day to counter the punchy nature of BF with humility and grace, and buoy the national feelgood factor simply by being really polite. Could be rolled over into No, Really, It Was My Pleasure Thursday.

Big Wednesday

In which we stimulate the ailing economy again, simply by buying one more of whatever it is that we’re buying. Great if you’re buying a pint or a delightful chocolate treat for a significant other, perhaps less practical if applied to cars or mail-order spouses.

Beg Wednesday

In which we stimulate our own ailing personal finances by taking to the streets and asking passers by if they wouldn’t mind sparing us 50p.

Sheffield Wednesday

The day upon which we all go out in public walking a whippet, whistling merrily along to Richard Hawley and singing the praises of the fleet feet of Chris Waddle. Unlikely to stimulate the economy, beyond a surge in whippet sales.