Little trotty wagtail she went shopping to get some bread / And tittering, tottering sideways as the sniper shot her dead.
The most famous bird in Britain was fed up with the publicity. The pied wagtail that took up residence in Great Yarmouth's Tesco has gone into hiding.
She was due to be shot by a sharpshooter on Sunday after the supermarket firm obtained a licence from Natural England to dispatch its newest member of staff but has been given a reprieve after an outcry on, naturally, Twitter.
The little bird, immortalised in verse by the poet John Clare, was last spotted flitting between the cafe and the front windows, the helpful woman at customer service informed me.
I headed to the most tantalising spot for a wagtail: the seeded loaves aisle.
"Somebody in here, with a gun, shooting at a wagtail?" said shopper Dave Sadler, incredulous. "An AK-47 would be better because they'd stand more chance of hitting it. Shooting it is a bit extreme."
Tesco abandoned its plan to pick off the pied wagtail – not endangered but still a declining species protected by the Wildlife and Countryside Act - after distraught customers informed Chris Packham, who tweeted an appeal to save the bird. In a PR flap, the supermarket abandoned the shoot and contacted the British Trust for Ornithology, whose expert bird-ringers will now help free the bird.
By the bananas, a revelation. "He's been here longer than I have," said a member of staff. (Most people refer to the wagtail as a he but it's apparently a she.) The wagtail has been happily ensconced in Tesco for six months and has noticeably put on weight while here.
But there's a sad twist: the wagtail originally arrived with a mate. Staff tried to free the pair – treats, humane traps, nets, opening windows – and he took off but she stayed put.
I head to the supermarket cafe, where the plot thickens.
"We've seen a couple of pigeons in here before as well," said a diner, Michael Naseby. "And the kids like the wagtail – they chase it."
Tesco Great Yarmouth is more fun than a wildlife park.
But a member of staff is visibly upset about the bird's plight. "People are coming in just to see the wagtail, which is not on. It's not a joke – I love animals and I've tried everything to catch it and set it free," she said, before realising I am a reporter. (Tesco staff aren't permitted to chirp to the media.)
"I imagine before long Tesco will have guided tours, 'Come and see the wagtail' with cream teas," said a holidaymaker having lunch. He smelt a rat: "I'm a sceptic. I don't think they ever intended to kill it – Tesco are many, many things but they are not stupid."
Suddenly, the wagtail flits in and lands beside us, takes one look at me and flees in the direction of men's underwear. Apparently the wagtail likes to loiter above the fitting rooms but she gives me the slip.
I return to the cafe.
"He watched us buying some clothes and then came over here," said Claire Lewis. Smart wagtail: Claire is with her two young children, who are careless with their Quavers. "We've just been feeding him ham sandwich."
Finally, in swoops the wagtail again, plump of breast, pretty of plumage, ducking around the tables like an extremely busy waitress.
As John Clare didn't quite put it: She stooped to get a cappuccino, and wondered what else to buy / And then she flew away ere her feathers they were dry.
