You can imagine the Channel 4 commissioning editor’s nose lifting into the air like a lion sensing a lame gazelle on the Serengeti when hearing the news that sex toy sales apparently rose by 300% in lockdown. “Ah,” breathes the beast. “Let us bring down an hour-long documentary about the nation’s changing habits and lubricant needs! Easy meat!”

Here, now, is the carcass proudly dragged before the audience-herd – Naughty & Nice: Sex Toy Britain (Channel 4). Its saving grace is that it keeps the interrogation of the general public about their use of wands, rabbits, butt plugs and all the vibrant, vibrating rest of it to a minimum. It focuses instead on the behind-the-scenes workings of a company in the middle of an imperfect storm.

Online sex toy retailer Lovehoney is obviously excited by the swell of interest but, like every other business, is increasingly hamstrung by the impact of Brexit and/or the pandemic. Inflation is affecting the price of silicon (up a potentially disastrous 15%), several million pounds’ worth of phalluses have gone missing or are delayed by kinked (not in the good way) and broken supply chains, and although the orders are coming in thick and fast there are too few people in the warehouse to fulfil them.

And now there’s Christmas. How do you choose the perfect sex toy stocking filler? Global product director Bonny Hall considers a selection of pink butt plugs with hearts on the handles. Very pretty – “A bit concerning on size, though.” A line of mini-wands are cute but fail on price. On the plus side, Lovehoney advent calendars are selling like hot cakes. “Cadbury’s ain’t got nothing on us,” says manager Matt Hawksworth with satisfaction.

You could argue that it’s a cheap trick, to entertain through incongruity – the brutal commercial realities behind meeting customers’ desires for mind-bending orgasms (“I want to touch the face of God but only for £19.99 or less!”) – but it’s such fun, and so effective. It works just as well in the warehouse, where the (largely middle-aged, female) staff pack lube and Kegel balls with weary disinterest, as if they were navy slacks in Marks & Spencer, though one employee notes that when she first started, “a rubber fist caught me off guard”. We are left to hope this was a reference to a moment of unexpected education rather than a workplace incident. Shelly, however, was less ambiguous. When she started, she thought the bulbous-ended wand vibrators were special microphones to make your voice sexy. “Felt a right doughnut,” Shelly says, when she realised.

Everyone is working flat out during the Christmas season, with office staff drafted in to keep the place tidy. “King Cocks are taking up too much space,” someone barks. Well, yes.

Meanwhile, longer-term plans must be laid. The company is looking to launch a “health range” – non-medical-looking dilators aimed at the 10% of women who don’t enjoy penetrative sex because it hurts, in consultation with an NHS gynaecologist who approves of the addition of handles but says the products need to start smaller – a fleeting insight into the difference between having expertise in an issue and merely knowing about it.

The search for the holy grail – a quiet vibrator – takes on greater urgency as lockdowns and the pandemic change living conditions. Shared houses and flats are becoming more common to save money in uncertain times, or because people move back home. A tester, Jamie Finch, describes one vibrator as sounding like a tractor. That might be OK in Cumbria, but not in a Croydon flatshare.

The few interviewees are well chosen. Inordinately charming sex-positive influencer Jess Megan talks with as little coyness or embarrassment about her work, her toys and the opportunities toy use offers women as I’ve ever heard. Perimenopausal sexual wellness coach Mangala Holland talks frankly about the specific issues affecting older women, and accountant Michael speaks very movingly about finding freedom in wearing women’s lingerie after a lifetime of being “a people-pleaser”.

Lovehoney’s executives succeed in finding the missing shipments, ironing out cash flow difficulties and finding perfect stocking fillers. The warehouse staff rise to all challenges. “Well done for putting all those dicks on shelves,” says Matt. Merry Christmas, everyone.