Name: Sir Martin Sorrell.
Age: 71.
Appearance: A strategically shaved Lord Sugar.
What’s he done? Evaded taxes? Refused to pay workers a living wage or clawed it back in some viciously petty way? What else do businessmen do? No, none of that.
That’s a happy surprise! Sort of. His pay packet has made headlines.
Because of its startling modesty? No. His annual remuneration is due to hit around £70m this summer as head of global marketing business WPP.
But that’s … £5.83m a month. £191,780 a day. £7,990 every hour. £133 a minute. That’s more than a footballer or a film star gets paid. It’s more than Sting makes playing private gigs for despots around the globe, or Jeremy Clarkson or Boris Johnson get paid for being embarrassing ambassadors for Britain. Sir Martin says he doesn’t like the word “pay”. “It’s a reward for performance with risk attached.” He has built the business he bought in 1985 for £1m to one worth £21bn today.
Oh, I see! This is his first pay packet? He’s taken a slice of a success that has been three decades in the making? Well, let’s see – £70m divided by 31 is still a lot, but … No, no – he has been paid every year. In fact, his original pay cheque for this year (before it was topped up) was already the second biggest in corporate history: £62.78m.
What? Well, he had his maximum payout cut from £33m to £19m in 2013. And shareholders voted against a £6.8m award the year before that. It’s not all been plain sailing.
No, it sounds as if he’s had some tricky times. Some of his shareholders might not be thrilled.
I hope it all works out for him. I’m just thinking, though … What?
Police officers take risks, don’t they? So do firefighters. Doctors and nurses are exposed to danger all the time. Charities working with refugees, disaster victims, refugees and victims themselves … Do any of them get paid £70m? Stop right there. You’re clearly a communist.
I’m really not. Just an embittered member of the non-wealth-creating class, then?
Again, really not. It just strikes me that however generously you conceptualise and quantify commercial risk, £70m a year is off the sca– COMMUNIST! GOODBYE.
Do say: “Well done, Sir Martin!”
Don’t say: “I’m Bart Becht, former CEO of Reckitt Benckiser, and I got the largest pay cheque in corporate history. £92m. Don’t feel bad.”
